Shape of the Shifter: a ball

You want to know what shape I’m in? I’ll tell you. I am a ball. I am a tight ball of stress, and the world keeps squeezing.

Keep losing my cool. I do not like losing control.

So what does my current shape mean for the ol’ blog here? What does it always mean when I post one of these? Yeah, I want to cut back some more. Need more time for my fiction. To get away from obligation. I like my blog, but I’ve let it become an obligation. I have to pull even the small posts out of me like daggers, leaving behind wounds spurting blood. The stuff I’m posting lately can’t be that interesting, anyway. My last post was the most elaborate you’ll probably see in awhile. At least I went out with a bang!

I’m not going on hiatus, mind you. Just don’t expect any large, polished posts for now. Anything I come up with will be brief and rough. Micro-posts, if you will. Fun recommendations, maybe, or an interesting link with my thoughts. Will try to stick to my usual schedule, but I won’t try too hard, you know? Just need to get into a new shape before the pressure turns me into a black hole. Okay, see you next time. I’ll be around.

*gets in his man-powered helicopter and pedals himself into the sky*


Shape of the Shifter: The Tortoise’s Revenge

*enters the room riding a Galapagos tortoise because he is stylin’ and in no hurry*

Walter Rothschild on Rotumah, a Galapagos tort...

Just like this, but I’m wearing a fez instead of a top hat. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hey, nice to see you guys. You good? Any problems you want to talk about? I’m a good listener.

Not much of a talker, though, which is the key point of this post. My current shape is…

*knocks on the tortoise’s shell*

A kangaroo! No, it’s a tortoise. What’s the first thing you think about when you think of a tortoise? If you said “great on the dance floor,” then you are right, but off-topic. Let’s talk about the shell instead.

A tortoise is a good shape for the social me. He can be out and about when it suits him. When it doesn’t, zip, into the shell he goes. Lately, I feel myself withdrawing, seeking that safety. It’s actually more common than the opposite. I’d think all my talk about social awkwardness would make that obvious.

But there is good news for this little tortoise. A blog is like being able to yell out to the world without having to direct it at anyone in particular. Imagine a tortoise with a megaphone poking out his neckhole. Like that. It’s not dialogue, but it will do in a pinch.

Let me take a moment to be almost social. Just wanted to say hello to all the followers and likers (it’s a word now) that I’ve had since resuming this blog. It’s good to know the things I post here are somewhat interesting to people other than myself. So, hello, and thanks.

One last thing before I sign off and take this tortoise home (he lives in a penthouse apartment downtown, lucky bastard). I have a Socially Awkward Guide for tomorrow, but that might be the last creative post for awhile. I kind of feel like I’ve been forcing it with those lately. Plus, now that I’m working on my story again, my brain gears are all set to “fiction.” If I think of an interesting idea for a creative post that I get excited to write, then maybe you’ll see one sooner than I think. Until then, I’ll keep posting little stuff here and there, so stay tuned. Later.

*rides the tortoise into the sunset, trumpet music blaring*


Shape of the Shifter

In celebration of my finishing my first draft, I’m having a post-a-day extravaganza! You bring the drinks, I’ll bring the olives. Party all week, wooooooooooooo!

Okay, maybe it’s not that exciting. But damn it, I’m doing it anyway.

So here’s where I currently stand on the blog. I want to stick with at least three posts a week. I may not be as religious about feature posts like the Socially Awkward Guide, though. Less “weekly” and more “whenever the heck I finish.” Reduced pressure, more time, hopefully better quality.

I know, I change my mind a lot. *points to username* Duh.

Speaking of features, I need some ideas for more. Not sure if I’ll continue with Awkward Hawk. Most likely will stick with the Socially Awkward Guide. But I need more than that. Something like fake advice or fake reviews or fake horoscopes. Oh, maybe fake psychic readings. The voices in my head could pretend to be spirits or angels or holy Smurfs or whatever. I’d just like something creative and fun to keep the blog interesting. I’m open to suggestions.

*pounding on the door interrupts him*

Crap, they’ve found me again. New post tomorrow after I find a new safe house. You didn’t see me, got it?

A Clown.

An inconspicuous disguise will help me make my getaway. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Shape of the Shifter (AKA a State of the Blog post)

How is everyone this fine Monday morning (well, afternoon or evening by the time I post this)? I know it’s not everyone’s favorite day, but since I usually work at least one day on the weekend, it is as meaningful (or meaningless) as any other day. So I don’t have a case of the Mondays. I don’t even have a single can of it.

Okay, enough of my weirdness. Seems like a good time for a “State of the Blog” post, which I will be calling the “Shape of the Shifter” from now on. Really, you should have garnered this from the title. Right up there. *points above his head, as if the title is literally above his head and he is actually these very words you are reading, which is a strange delusion indeed*

I am proud of myself for maintaining a three-post-a-week habit so far. After such a long period of inactivity, it’s a real breakthrough. I want to keep this going. But here’s the problem: I don’t have a lot of time. Mostly due to my day job, but other obligations demand my attention, too. Eating, bathing, family, the usual. Attempts to ignore these don’t end up well. So what little free time I have must be used wisely.

My blog can be a wise investment, of course. It is my voice in the void. It is one of the ways I connect with others, especially since I rarely socialize in person. But here’s the thing: how can I be a creative type if I am not creating? A lot of the content I’ve been posting is creative, yes, but pure humor is not what I’m trying to make a career on. I may be somewhat funny –- maybe –- but I don’t see myself as a comedy writer. I’m no Steve Martin or Dave Barry or anything. I’m just a guy who hopes I can get a laugh once in awhile to get/keep people interested in me and my future works.

I might be rambling a bit. Sorry, it happens.

Let me get to the point, then. I’m investing a little too much time in the blog and not enough in my fiction right now. This has to change.

I want to stick with three posts a week because it seems like a good number. Not so much that people get sick of me, not so little that people forget me. The current structure is like this: creative-random-creative, Monday-Wednesday-Friday. I think I need to change one of those creatives into a random.

I love doing the creative blog posts. I do. But I tend to spend too much time on them because I want them to be good. I want all my posts to be good, but those most of all because they are a window into my creative space. Because of how much I put into them, I need to set a limit. With extreme reluctance, mind you. I’m not convinced my “regular” posts are as interesting. I live an unexciting life. But the benefit is that they do not take as long.

I might switch up the days, too, due to my schedule. Tuesday-Thursday-Friday, perhaps? Let’s go with that for now. Next post would be Thursday, then.

So, if you come to my blog for my creative attempts at funny stuff–the socially awkward guides, spoof articles, and the like–expect to see them on Tuesdays. Thursdays and Fridays will be random days–fiction recommendations, personal stuff, whatever.

There, now that that’s done, I can post something more interesting next time. What could it be, you ask? No idea!